| me. He had good will and wanted to
resolve conflicts. We worked out compromises that were successful. Richard
taught me a great deal about religious beliefs. Smoking cigarettes was central to
Richard’s self-definition for many decades. But he was able to change even
something that major in his character, and he ultimately overcame his addiction. The storyteller: Richard
also had a grasp of his identity and how he interacted in almost every situation. He
conveyed his identity through the stories he told. When I asked about the family
history, I learned about Jan’s background and how Richard had managed to keep his
daughter after his wife, Grace, died. The story of that confrontation is central to
understanding Richard’s character.
Granny, Grace’s mother and Jan’s biological
grandmother, faked a heart attack when Richard tried to leave with Jan. But Richard
picked Jan up and took her on the train back to Texas, walking out on a horrific scene.
Richard acted according to his beliefs when it really mattered.
Infectious appreciation: When we bought our house, Richard came out to help us move. It was a
nervous time for us, becoming homeowners for the first time. I remember his delight
when he discovered that our shower stall was actually made from real marble. He had
an appreciation of the world that was infectious; it helped me see things and enjoy things
that I might have missed entirely. Our annual family gatherings at Black Water Falls
and other state parks in West Virginia, Thanksgiving dinners in Ohio, and later in
Baltimore, and most recently, our gathering last summer at Oglebay Park, were highlights.
Sensitive diplomat: Richard
was kind and gentle. One of my fondest memories of Richard was how he helped us have
our sons. He was very, very diplomatic. He was visiting his parents in Ohio,
just before Toby was due. He was sensitive enough to know that he would be needed,
but he did not intrude into our lives. He waited in Ohio until we called him.
Richard, the Babysitter: He came and stayed with us just after Toby was born. I
remember how difficult it was for us as new parents, and how his presence reassured
us. Toby was born two weeks early, and we weren’t fully prepared. Jan
still had counseling clients scheduled, and so did I. Richard babysat for Toby,
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covering the first
time that neither of us could be home. Enthusiastic
dreamer: When we were trying to find a name for
our new baby late one night, Richard had a dream. He got up and came into the
kitchen, and with great enthusiasm, told us about his dream. Then he realized how
forceful he had been, and carefully modified his statement by telling us, “Now this
is only a suggestion, something for you to think about…”
Richard holds four-day-old grandson, Toby.
December 15, 1978. |
He had a lot of respect for others, even
when he could not understand their beliefs or disagreed with them. When I became a
hypnotist and started regressing clients into past lifetimes, he did not understand or
agree with my efforts. But he chose to ignore the fact that we had different
beliefs, and focused instead on those areas where we had a lot in common.
Suggestion of Stonehenge: Richard was deeply spiritual, but very strongly against dogma of any type or
stripe. One summer, he spent a few days with us,
and while we were gone at work, he did some cleaning up in
the yard. We later discovered one of the things he had done was to open up a gap in
the trees, which brought the setting sun into our line of vision. I couldn't help
but conclude that Stonehedge must have been somewhere in his past lives.
This has been a difficult week for me. Richard’s
transition came suddenly, and has opened up many very personal issues for me. In the
regressions that I have done, I found that it is common for people to hang around, as
spirits, to watch ceremonies like this one. I hope that Richard hears me when I say,
"Thank you" for the help you have given my family and me. God be with you.
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